The Piss Test
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see
a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of
money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the
drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot
cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample
in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits
ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have
tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening
while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture
for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager
to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints
the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a
water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with
anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.
Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop
playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
